Test your vocabulary

TESTING YOUR VOCABULARY*
1) What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?
2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
3) What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
4) What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? It's something that you'll need when things are heated up.
5) What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?
6) What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
7) What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

PLEASE SEE THE ANSWER

ANSWERS:
1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (fork)
6. (Almond Joy candy bar)
7. (last name)

Jokes that can be told in church

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?'' The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.' The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!' While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clot hes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!'
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.' The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad s cribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.' The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, ! 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'
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You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.

Skandal Seks di DPR

SKANDAL SEKS DI DPR MEMICU TERJADINYA PEMERASAN

Seorang anggota Dewan pada suatu siang ditelepon oleh seorang perempuan.

Suara di sana berkata, "Selamat siang Bapak Anggota Dewan." Dari

suaranya perempuan itu masih muda.

"Siang." "Ini siapa ya?" tanya anggota Dewan itu. "Saya Anne, yang

pernah tidur bersama Bapak waktu itu," jawab si perempuan.

"Hahh???" sang anggota DPR terdengar penasaran.

"Kalau Bapak tidak ingin rahasia itu terbongkar, Bapak harus memberi

saya uang tutup mulut!" ancam si perempuan.

"Oke, baiklah," jawab anggota Dewan itu pasrah. Kemudian dia berpikir,

di mana pernah meniduri perempuan tersebut? Di luar negeri? Di luar

Jawa? Di luar Jakarta ? Atau hanya di seputaran Jakarta saja?



Beberapa hari kemudian si anggota Dewan itu menyerahkan sejumlah uang di

suatu tempat yang telah ditentukan. Uang itu diterima oleh kurir sang

perempuan.

Tetapi, setelah beberapa hari kemudian, si perempuan itu menelepon lagi

dan meminta hal yang sama. Dengan hati yang masih penasaran, anggota

Dewan yang terhormat itu mengabulkan permintaannya.

Tetapi, anehnya setelah beberapa minggu kemudian, wanita itu meminta hal

yang sama dengan ancaman yang sama. Akhirnya, dengan pasrah anggota

Dewan itu mengabulkan permintaan tersebut.

Walaupun begitu, anggota Dewan itu menjawab dalam teleponnya.

"Okelah aku kabulkan permintaanmu. Tetapi, jangan bikin penasaran gitu

dong. Saya cuma ingin tahu emangnya kita pernah tidur bersama dimana dan

kapan itu terjadi?"

Wanita itu menjawab dengan sangat lembutnya : "Kita kan sama-sama

anggota DPR, kita kan pernah tidur bersama diruang sidang utama pada

waktu Bu Mega membacakan pidato beliau di Gedung MPR-DPR tahun lalu!"



"Hah? Sang anggota DPR pun pingsan karena terlanjur memberi uang kepada

wanita itu sebesar Rp 500 juta.....

Makanya jangan tidur kalau sidang pak!!! he...he...he. ..