DOGs vs MeN

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.3. Both mark their territory.4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.7. Neither does any dishes.8. Both fart shamelessly.9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.10. Both like dominance games.11. Both are suspicious of the postman.12. Neither understands what you see in cats.



1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.

3. You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
4. Dogs don't criticize your friends.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
7. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

8. You can train a dog and it will even get your newspaper.
9. Dogs are easy to buy for.
10. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
11. Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
12. Dogs understand what 'no' means.
13. Dogs don't need therapy to deal with their problems.
14. Dogs are happy with whatever you feed them.
15. You can force a dog to take a bath.
16. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
17. Dogs don't borrow your credit cards or cellular phone.
18. Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
19. Dogs don't play video games.
20. Dogs don't drink beer or watch football.

21. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.

22. Dogs admit when they're jealous.

23. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas (OK, really, the ... worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine ... ....for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).

24. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.